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2002-04-01 - 2:11 p.m. Three: Agnes Meets The Drag Queens ---------------------------------- Agnes: My sisters. It is unfortunate that there could only have been one winner tonight. But I want to tell you that we are all winners! (The drag queens are silent) Agnes: My sisters, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Drag 1: Did you hear something? Drag 2: Aiyoh, who farted? So smelly… Agnes: You are hurting. I understand. Everybody hurts. Drag 3: Must be you (referring to Drag 4). Tell you already don’t go and screw those black sailors, you still do. Drag 2: Yah, now become like wind tunnel already. Eh, you all ah, next time when the hand dryer not working, can use her backside. Drag 4: So disgusting! (The other drags laugh. Agnes joins in their laughter. They stop.) Agnes: I am sorry. I haven't introduced myself. (The drags are silent) Agnes: Agnes. (Reaches hand out) Daughter of the god, Indra. I come in peace. Drag 1: So, daughter of a God, big deal! So glamorous is it? Must yaya is it? I know lah, my father only taxi driver, that one, fishmonger, yours postman, yours, what ah? Drag4: Die already. Drag1: Yah, all not so atas, like yours. Agnes: Sisters. I am here to learn. It is the first time I have been crowned among mortals. As a gesture of my sincerity...here, you can have my tiara. Drag3: No need. It's over. Agnes: Let me learn from you. Drag2: What is there to learn? Agnes: All of you are so pretty. You carry yourself with such poise. I could do with a few lessons if I am to walk through your world with such elegance and grace. Drag1: What lessons? Aiyah, all I learnt, I picked up from the streets. Seelah, daughter of a god, live in the clouds, so sheltered. You have to make your rounds, start at Changi, sashay a bit, down to Geylang, pose, stop at Desker, pout, and do a turn. The whole stretch is your catwalk. Agnes: Can you take me there? Drag4: Aiyoh, girl, you don’t want to go there. Agnes: We haven't been introduced. Drag4: They call me Miss Toa Payoh. Drag2: Yah, mature estate. She is the most senior one among us. Lao Chiau. Drag4: Say lao can already, no need to say chiau. This one (Drag3) is Miss Katong. Drag2: Katong is reclaimed land mah. She's the one who's had most plastic surgery. Drag4: And that one (Drag1) is Miss Bedok. Drag2: She went for a discount breast transplant, so operation went a bit wrong. So if you look carefully one of her tetek is higher than the other. We call them Bedok North and Bedok South. Agnes: What about you? Drag4: We call her Miss Sengkang. Drag1: Yah, because she always biSING when she kangKANG. She has sex in Pasir Ris, people at Jurong thought civil defence mobilisation exercise. Agnes: You seem to know this island very well. Perhaps you can be my guide. Drag2: I thought you wanted us to be your beauty consultants? Agnes: That too. From now on I will call you the four beauties. Si Mei. You will accompany the goddess on her journey.
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